SPIRAL

It started.  It's unstoppable.
The spiraling down from no where near the top.

One man, one word.
No one, no words.

The festival of hope dashed with inaction.
Thoughts of wonderment and fun destroyed by one action.

Assumptions are made,
hearts hurt
... paralysis begins.

Don't strive for the top,
or get comfortable with hope,

marinating in the bottom of hopelessness
... confusion
the bottom.

frolic, romp, carouse, dance, cavort, triumph

All synonyms for PLAY.  My dear friend Kathleen knows how to play and play well and because she knows, she encourages others to play. She has an entire blog dedicated to playing!  Neoteny. She knows what a huge difference it can make in your life and she purposes to play, decides to play, chooses to play.  I adore playing!  In fact, playing inevitably leads to laughter and laughing is one of my favorite things to do.  So why don't I play more?  Well I'll tell you why.  I don't play more because I have trouble finding a way to integrate play into my everyday life.  I always WANT to play but then the things that I feel I HAVE to do get in the way of the playing and for some reason I can't meld the two.  So as I was studying yesterday I was trying to be all crafty and make cute fun things for moms on Mother's day and I clicked on to the thesaurus and entered "PLAY".  What I found may just change my life. - and may I at this time add a disclaimer because I am not a semanticist, an etymologist, a linguist or a theologian....but what I learned may be of interest to you too.  The word play has a lot of synonyms and they sound like they would be, for example frolic... frolic just sounds fun... I picture hopping through a field of daisies and giggling.  And then there is carouse and cavort well those just sound like naughty fun... you know like playing a silly prank on someone. There is dance and twirl...again just thinking of those words puts a smile on my face.  And then there is REJOICE.  Rejoice is a synonym for play.  Now THAT is what could change my world.   Last night I pulled out my Strong's Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible, it's a huge red book that's a good eh? 3 inches thick.  I got it at the Goodwill some 15 years ago...for 6.99!  Anyway, the name and date scrawled in the front cover says 1971...it's an older version, regardless, when I counted up the number times the word rejoice was listed with reference I found almost 200.  And that was just rejoice.  It does not include rejoiced, rejoicest, rejoiceth and rejoicing.  And here is what I began to wonder...
What if God told me to play?  What if God wanted me to play?
What if God told YOU to play?  What if God wanted YOU to play?

PSALM 118:24 This is the day the Lord has made; let us PLAY and be glad in it. 
ISAIAH 61:10 I delight greatly in the Lord; my soul PLAYS in my God.  For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels. 
JOHN 16:22 so with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will PLAY, and no one will take away your joy. 
ROMANS 12:15 PLAY with those who PLAY
PHILIPPIANS 4:4 PLAY in the Lord always.  I will say it again; PLAY! 
1 THESSALONIANS 5:16-18 PLAY always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.  


So decide to play.  Life is too short to be too serious...

Perfect Sunday

Today was a perfect day.

I woke up this morning, and prayed that I would have a good day.  The last couple have been a little bit cranky and a lot of not so fun stuff.  I really wanted a good day to end my weekend.  So I headed off to church, was greeted at the door by a good friend with a smile and good conversation.  Church was, as usual, wonderful.  After service a group of some old friends, some new friends and a couple I have never met went to lunch.  We laughed over chips and salsa and wet burritos.  Then my beautiful friend Tessa came home with me and helped me weed my raised beds.  A task that both Nicole and I have been trying to get accomplished.  Nicole had actually started one half of it earlier in the week.  It seemed like such a daunting task, but with good company and some hard work we got them all done.  As we finished the last bed, I was getting more and more excited, anticipating having vegetables coming up and the summer we would have with these fresh veggies.  The next task was to get some chicken wire to put up a little fence around the garden, to keep out the cute little bunnies so I wouldn't have to kill them for eating my little starts.  We went to the hardware store and then I treated Tessa to an old Snohomish tradition.  The Swirl Cone, at the Pilchuck Drive-In.  It was the best tasting ice cream cone ever...especially after working so hard! Then we went to the grocery store to get stuff for dinner.  Last night, we learned how to chop up a chicken so I wanted to put my skills to the test and I invited a few people over for my first ever fried chicken.  It didn't sound like many people were going to make it. Which was fine, I always love having my parents over for dinner but at the last minute a few others changed their plans and as I was cooking my room mates got home.  The house was once again filled with people.  Laughing and talking, taking time...it's LOVE.  The chicken was delicious but at one point I had to just stop... I looked at my mom and said.  I love this house.  This is what this house was made for.  I started out a very young little girl sitting at the table in that dining room while family laughed and played cards, ate and had fun.  Now as an adult I sit there doing the same thing and it was just the grand finale to the wonderful day the Lord gave me.  Ahhhh, now I can go to bed, knowing that tomorrow I will start my week, filled to the brim.

Star Light, Star Bright

I once heard someone say, don't pray for signs and wonders because the only thing that will happen is that you'll begin wondering if everything is a sign.

I stopped praying for signs and now I just revel in wonderment.  Oh and I suppose I sometimes just wonder.

I have a bit of an obsession with stars.  One star in particular, mainly because it’s MY star, God gave it to me.

And he continues to give it to me.  You see, I am human and I have doubts about my future.  I have doubts about whether the God of the Universe will ever bless me with a husband to share the rest of my days with and children to run amuck.  I have doubts about whether if that's not in the plan if my heart will be able to stand it.

One night, 4 years ago, on a beach in Mexico, I asked God that question.  God, will you take care of me?  Will you bless me with a man that loves me, unconditionally?  Will you give me the amazing opportunity to have children and be a mother?  And Lord above all else will you make sure that my heart is okay with whatever you give me?  And at that very moment, I looked up in the sky and there was only one solitary star...where as in minutes before there were millions.  And it shone soo bright; I had never seen anything quite like it.  I could have sworn it was a diamond in the night sky...with all the facets and beautiful colors that radiated off of it.

I was changed that night, when God assured me (even when He didn't have to) that HE would take care of me, that His promises hold true.  And he continues to assure me... because you see, last night I saw my star again..and I've seen it countless other times in the past 4 years.

God is alive, He comforts me, and He has an amazing plan for my life.

Last night I didn't know what the star was for, today I do.  Because today He told me my life was going to change, just as soon as I get out of His way!

DEFINITION

an unfilled space...hollow

an address (as a petition) to God  in word or thought...prayer

visualization of a future event or state....anticipation

 a strong desire especially for something unattainable...longing

 an intense, urgent, or abnormal desire or longing...craving

 a relation of personal intimacy...connection

 having qualities which inspire hope...hopeful

 a state of well-being and contentment..happiness

FAITH: belief, trust in and loyalty to God.

8-Tracks Got Nuthin on Me!

I did something hard tonight.  I ignored the old tapes, as in I turned them off.  Sometimes I've turned them down or tuned them out for a short time, but they are always there in the back of my mind, droning on and on.  Tonight I turned them off.  Tonight the tapes that said, you're not smart enough, you're not pretty enough, you can't keep up in conversation, you're TOO OLD, you should just stay home...were shut down and thrown out.

The result: I laughed, had good conversation, felt a spark inside again and left wanting more...

Those are very, very old tapes, that have been overplayed.

Tonight I did something hard, I decided that I'm no longer going to play 8-tracks, that I'm an iPod and I'm letting God make me a new mix.

Dear Gramma Ali

Dear Gramma Ali,
I never could have imagined how much I love living in the red house.  It seems every time I turn around another fond memory of you pops up.  Today, the sun was shining and I was out in the yard.  I remembered how excited I got at the thought of renewing this 1-acre parcel to the way you once had it.  Well, I have my work cut out for me, but my goal still remains.

These cute little guys came up without anyone asking, there are these purple ones and white ones.. I'm sure you remember planting them.  They're all along the rock wall.  There are some of them that I'm surprised they could even find their way out, the moss and weeds are about choking them out.

Then there is the lilac bush.. I really couldn't tell you the last time this little thing saw any attention but amongst the brown branches are sooo many green buds, just dying to bloom and be beautiful and fragrant! Do you remember how mad you used to get when I'd pick these out of your yard and then they'd end up in your may day basket?

The rose bush on the clothes line has seen better days, like when you were alive and took care of trimming it and pruning it, but it too still wants to bloom!

And the raspberries...ohhhh the raspberries, they are on the top of my list, they're being choked out by who knows what but if you look close, you can see the green, it's there!   I so want to have them back, to make raspberry jam...or maybe I'll try my hand at jelly and have them strung up in one of my stockings in the kitchen like you used to do, if I even wore stockings!?

And of course the moles still reside in the back yard, I'm not sure what I'll do about them...maybe they won't like the Great Dane that lives here... okay don't be mad, but I named my dog after you.  It just made sense, there was no way I would have even thought about getting a dog if  I didn't live in a house and well, it's your house that I'm now living in so...

Then there's this pain in the bush, it's really an eye sore when it's not blooming, in fact it's just a sore in general, I think it's a bier patch, it has these big, huge, thorns, I tried killing it once, years back and well, now it's come back with a vengence.  Right now is the only time I like it because it's actually blooming, and pretty.  Did you plant that thing?

And then there are the grape hyacinths on the wall...they were always here with the "damn weeds"  well over time, I think you were successful in getting rid of the "damn weeds"  or someone was.  But the minute I moved in, a friend of mine made sure that I had some and  today I noticed them blooming and it's because of them that I write this letter just to tell you...

FORGET YOU - I WILL NOT.