One Month

Is 4 weeks one month or can I only say I've been married one month on the day of my wedding?  Hmmm?  Who cares.  Either way, I'm married and love my husband and love my life.
The hardest part of this past month is the two weeks I've been back to work.  I had two weeks off for the wedding and honeymoon which was glorious.  The first day back to work was a whirlwind of catching up and trying to figure out what I needed to catch up on.  The second day was the hardest, it began to really sink in that now my job was going to get in the way of my life.  Okay that may sound a little dramatic but seriously.  I have to get out of bed and leave before my husband even wakes.  Don't tell me that doesn't suck.  But here is what happened and why today, I am okay, and how God made it okay.  In the first 3 days I was back I had several customers very excited to see me.  Some of them thought I was another manager that didn't make it through the drama of Redmond and some customers knew that I had gotten married so they were excited.  They all wanted to see pictures and hear all about it.  They also were very quick to tell me that they had heard I was a gorgeous bride.  Who doesn't want to hear that?  But then there are the customers that just make you want to hang up your customer service hat and call it quits.  I had just finished dealing with one of those peaches when I stepped in the back room to take 10 deep breaths.  I opened my locker (which I had not done yet) and there was a folded up piece of paper with my name on it.  Oh great, someones notice and I hadn't seen it yet.  I opened it up and it was from Lindsay.  A young gal from Idaho that had to move back to Idaho and her last day was while I was gone.  I began reading this letter and before I knew it tears were streaming down my face.  What hit me was this, " I honestly think you taught me so much not just about coffee, but about life and God....You have a huge heart and have a way of loving people wherever they are at in life.  Thanks for always looking out.  I will miss you and love you deeply."
THAT IS WHY I DO WHAT I DO.
It's not about me.  It's not about the things that make me want to pull my hair out...the busy little tasks, the customers that can't seem to smile and say please and thank you.  I have been put in this position to be a light, to share my heart and to love.  Isn't that why we've been put on this earth.  Period.
Oh and I also got a raise that week, that helped too.  ha!  But seriously, the bottom line is that for my entire life, I've wanted to be a wife and a mother and for the first time in my life I'm getting to be part of that and hoping and praying for the other.  And as I wait for the mother part, I was feeling like I this job thing was really going to get to me, God spoke truth and gave me peace that I can do this and I can enjoy it all by knowing that I'm doing it for Him.  Not for me.